Things that stood out the most from my pregnancy
Having children was always something that I wanted. My husband, Bobby, figured that he'd have children but really never spent the time thinking about how it would go or be for him. Looking back, I realize that I never really thought about it either. My wedding… sure, I dreamed about that but having babies, not at all. Maybe that is why I just didn't enjoy my pregnancy.
I don't want to dampen the mood so I'll mix up the positives and negatives.
First, I feel like a superhero! I grew a human and kept it alive with my body (both inside and outside). That may be my greatest accomplishment. I loved my pregnant body - I definitely had awkward stages, but my body really liked this season. On the other hand, carrying a baby is exhausting and heavy!!! In my third trimester, I started having Bobby hold my belly up for me. OMG! the weight that was lifted was such a relief. I highly recommend getting that relief - have your partner or doula hold up your belly for you, or get on all fours and let your belly just hang a bit (you know, cat & cow, from yoga), they also sell belly bands for this support.
Second, the hormones!!! Holy Moley those hormones are brutal. Bobby found the mood swings to be a small challenge. We both think that I was pretty decent during my actual pregnancy with the mood swings - I think being home a lot because of the shutdown helped. He was warned to be prepared for these crazy pregnancy emotions and found them to be pretty mild (postpartum was a different story).
Third, I didn't feel bonded or connected to the baby that was growing inside of me. This was the hardest part for me. I expected to have that read about or seen in movies pregnancy. I never expected such a disconnect to something so close to me. In our podcast episode, we talk about this and if it's because of my experience as a Funeral Director.
As a funeral director, I always felt comfortable working with the deceased. I am able to view a person as a vessel and know that their spirit has moved on, allowing me to feel more comfortable in preparing a decedent for their loved ones to help bring closure. But I fear that I had that same disassociation with my growing baby - that because he was in my belly he was separate from his spirit.
Sounds crazy, but it's how I felt.
I wish that I had felt differently in my pregnancy but it was part of my journey and there were definitely good, bad, happy, and sad moments throughout. For all the mamas that are reading this and resonate, you are not alone and you can do hard things. What I would have changed is the way I loved myself in my pregnancy - I wish I spent more time admiring myself and caring for myself, my husband did and I should have taken his lead. So mama-to-be, take a bath or a long shower, enjoy your favorite food, watch that hallmark movie and enjoy the sunshine - treat yourself, you're a superhero!
For more self-care practices see my Free Discover Self Care for YOU guide.
Would it help you to share your story? Let's chat about it one day!