The Hidden Weight Behind “Enjoy Every Minute”
“You should enjoy every minute.”
“They grow up so fast.”
“You’re going to miss this someday.”
Most moms have heard some version of these lines.
They’re usually said with kindness. But if you’re a mom who’s struggling, they can land like a punch in the gut.
When “enjoy every minute” hurts
What if you’re not enjoying every minute?
What if you’re crying in the bathroom, feeling numb, anxious, angry, or totally overwhelmed… and then someone tells you that you should be soaking it all up?
You might start to think:
- “What’s wrong with me?”
- “Why can’t I just be grateful?”
- “Everyone else seems to be handling this. Why can’t I?”
Here’s the truth:
You can love your baby and still not enjoy this season.
Both things can be true at the same time.
Postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, and rage are not signs that you’re ungrateful or failing. They’re signs that your brain and body have been through something enormous and need care.
What I wish we said instead
Instead of “enjoy every minute,” I wish we heard more of:
- “How are you really doing?”
- “It’s okay if this is hard.”
- “You don’t have to love every moment to be a good mom.”
- “You matter, not just the baby.”
These kinds of statements open the door for honesty and support instead of shame.
They give moms permission to be human.
Why I’m pushing back on this phrase
A big part of my campaign, Hope Is Here: No Mom Walks Alone, is about challenging the scripts we’ve inherited around motherhood.
I’m walking the Hope Is Here 5k at eight months pregnant not to prove how strong I am, but to stand alongside moms who are quietly struggling. I want them to hear a different message:
- You’re allowed to tell the truth about how you feel.
- You’re not alone in it.
- There is real help available.
If “enjoy every minute” has ever made you feel worse instead of better, this is your permission to put that pressure down.
You are allowed to have mixed feelings.
You are allowed to say, “This is really hard.”
You are allowed to be a work in progress and still be a good mom.
You’re doing more than enough. And you don’t have to pretend this is easy.
If you’re looking for ways to support maternal mental health, you can join or donate to Team Mama Outspoken for the Hope Is Here 5k here: https://www.mamaoutspoken.com/teammamaoutspoken
If you want more real conversations around postpartum and maternal mental health, you can listen to the Mama Outspoken Podcast here.
You are invited to find community with us, check out the Mama Outspoken Village here. To learn more or grab your copy of the book, head here.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. One of our favorite resources is the Postpartum Resource Center of New York - you deserve support that sees you.
