Ep 34 - The Doula Decision: What We Didn’t Know We Needed

In this episode of the Mama Outspoken Podcast, Jill and Bobby look back at one specific decision from their first birth story: whether or not to hire a doula.

Jill shares a passage from the book about how, as first-time parents and grandparents, no one really knew if a doula would have helped. At the time, they didn’t fully understand what doulas do or how that kind of support might have changed their experience. Now, with more distance and more language for what happened, they revisit the question: “Would having a doula have made a difference?”

This isn’t a sales pitch for doulas or a shame session about past choices. It’s an honest reflection on how little you know the first time around, what kind of emotional and physical support Jill wishes she’d had, and how to hold the “what ifs” of your birth story with compassion instead of blame.

If you’ve ever replayed your birth and wondered whether different support would have changed things, you’re not alone.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why Jill and Bobby didn’t hire a doula the first time around and what they understood about doulas then
• How being first-time parents (and grandparents) shaped their decisions and assumptions
• The kind of emotional, physical, and advocacy support doulas can offer in birth
• Honest reflections on how that support might have changed Jill’s experience
• How to revisit your birth story without drowning in guilt or “should haves”
• What Jill and Bobby would want pregnant listeners to consider now about building a support team
• How they’re using what they know now to make different choices moving forward

You made the best decisions you could with what you knew at the time.

You’re allowed to grieve parts of your birth story and still show compassion to your past self.

If you’re replaying your own birth decisions and wondering what might have gone differently, you don’t have to keep having that conversation alone in your head.

Explore the Mama Outspoken Resources, and check out postpartumny.org for support and community. 

If this conversation hit home and you want to stand with moms in a real, practical way, join me for the Hope Is Here 5k. You can walk or run with Team Mama Outspoken, or donate from wherever you are. It’s one simple way to tell moms, “You’re not alone in this.” All the details are at www.mamaoutspoken.com/teammamaoutspoken.

We hope you'll join us next time!
—Jill & B

You are invited to find community with us, check out the Mama Outspoken Village here. To learn more or grab your copy of the book, head here. Remember, you’re not alone in this. One of our favorite resources is the Postpartum Resource Center of New York - you deserve support that sees you.